Wednesday, August 31, 2016

August Update

It's the last day of the month, and it's been over two months since my last update. Things have been hard. I lost my grandmother and never fully realized just how much she meant to me until she was gone. I experienced extreme sadness and anger, went from crying nearly everyday, sometimes spontaneously out in public when I saw someone who reminded me of her, to completely disowning and wishing certain family members dead who I feel played a major role in her demise.

But life goes on, I lost my grandmother three months ago, and also my beautiful black cat of 15 years died last month, exactly two months and one day to the day after my grandma, and that was very sad as well, but after all the chaos and uncertainty, once again I have finally reached a period of stability in my life.

I am no longer crying, no longer feeling angry with my relatives, and am no longer facing homelessness. I found a good paying job. I have an apartment in my own name. It's true I don't have any substantial savings, but I'm making enough to fully support myself, and my long-term career prospects are looking good. The only thing is I don't yet have internet service at home, but hope to get that set up within the next couple of months, maybe in time for Halloween. So I won't have much of an opportunity to post here until then. But just wanted to give this update to let you all know that I'm still alive and still planning on blogging here and hope to resume posting regularly again just as soon as time permits.

That is all. Thank you for reading. Have a nice day.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Life in Limbo

This is where I lived for two weeks, downtown with the wicked witch of the Southwest.




All three pictures were taken from the balcony, this was the view I saw everyday from the seventh floor. Those are government buildings. And the one in the back is the tallest building in the city, at I think 27 stories.



I thought I would be here longer, but as fate had it, it was not to be. Just as I was rushed out of my previous residence, being told one day that I had at least a month to clear everything out, and then finding out I only had five days, I thought I had two months with my aunt, but that two months turned into two weeks because "I was interfering with her creativity". Well, that's okay because during those two weeks all I heard was constant bragging of her own and her children's accomplishments, and nothing but criticism of my own, of my supposed lack of intelligence and insight, and worst of all my own lack of a clear plan, of not having a more substantial savings to see me through this type of emergency, something she was sure to make clear that her own children would never be guilty of.

I never realized what a snob my aunt was, and not just that but her almost pathological obsession with her own self-perceived superiority and that of her children, never before have I been witness to a person bragging so much, and how she appeared to take delight in assassinating people's characters, including my own and my parents and even my grandmother (her own mother) of pointing out every flaw, which is basically anything that doesn't match her own specific way of seeing and doing things, basically it's her way or the wrong way.

Yeah, pretty much I strongly suspect that my aunt may be a psychopath, possibly bipolar, maybe both, because she sure changed her mind quick, she'd say one thing one day, and the next completely contradict it. I pointed this out to her, that she should say what she means and mean what she says, and she completely destroyed that too, saying there just words, don't be so firm, they are not final, nothing was in writing, and the spoken word has no finality, a person has a right to change there mind.

Anyway, I did not enjoy my time downtown, would never want to live there, is just too noisy, too hectic and busy. Even though T-cson is not that large of a city - it's no Chicago, which is even crazier with it's dark menacing skyscrapers and overwhelming sense of being alone and forsaken amidst a sea of concrete and hoodlum thugs and criminals and street people and trash, as downtown's goes, even though on somewhat of a smaller scale, it definitely had that busy downtown flow going for it that I realize I don't much care for. Strangely enough I always considered myself more of a city person than a small towner, but after my brief experience living downtown I found that I actually missed that rural slow pace that I had living on the edge of town, and realized I would have to return to it.