The Difference Between Solitude and Loneliness

Here's a great quote from The Origins of Totalitarianism by Hannah Arendt about the difference between solitude and loneliness:

The lonely man finds himself surrounded by others with whom he cannot establish contact or to whose hostility he is exposed.

The solitary man, on the contrary, is alone and therefore "can be together with himself." In solitude, in other words, I am "by myself", together with my self, and therefore two-in-one, whereas in loneliness I am actually one, deserted by all others.

All thinking, strictly speaking, is done in solitude and is a dialogue of thought.

Solitude can became loneliness; this happens when all by myself I am deserted by my own self. Solitary men have always been in danger of loneliness, when they can no longer find the redeeming grace of companionship...

To me this description in many ways parallels the differences between introversion and shyness. With introversion as an orientation of thinking more akin to solitude, and shyness more akin to loneliness. In that someone who is shy, may wish to be with others, but is afraid to reach out to them, and if ending up alone feels lonely; whereas an introvert being fully content with themselves, may selectively choose to be alone but without feeling lonely at all; with solitude being a positive experience of being alone, loneliness being a negative one.

I myself am a solitary person. Not a lonely person. I've never felt lonely before in my life. Not even as a little kid, when I was for awhile the new kid on the block who didn't have any friends. I've always felt perfectly at peace with myself, my greatest solace being nature and books. I've never felt completely alone because I've always felt a deep sense of companionship and connectedness with the earth and the sky and the greater universe.

If I were locked up in solitary confinement without a book or a window, that would be hell, but so long as I either have access to a good book, or can be outside and see blue sky and stars and green grass and trees, and hear the sounds of nature and the sounds of birds singing, even by myself I wouldn't feel alone, wouldn't be lonely.

Of course that could all change in the blink of an eye, where solitude could easily digress into loneliness, where strength could be overtaken by weakness, where peace of mind could dissolve into misery...where if this connection to love is severed completely, all that would remain in its place is a feeling of separation, alienation, and isolation.

All it takes is a split second for your attitude to change completely, where your entire world could be turned upside down and inside out.

Attitude really is everything.

In order to never lose this feeling of connectedness, this "redeeming grace of companionship" with the world, it requires an attitude of openness and goodwill toward the whole world.

So that even in the absence of human companionship, you will never feel entirely alone, and even in the absence of housing or material possessions, you will never feel entirely homeless or deprived, but feel at home and among friends wherever you may be, even when alone you'll experience a peaceful solitude without loneliness.

Faces of Death

Today I finished watching a documentary called Faces of Death.

I started watching this one last night and finished it today, and let me tell you, all I can say is WOW! I've never seen anything like this before. Not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. But if you can handle it, it's worth watching at least once.

Faces of Death is a graphic documentary film about death, but could just as easily be a horror film. In fact it's so graphic that it has been banned in over 40 countries! Yes, it's morbid. Yes, it's disturbing. Yes, it's shocking. Some may even refer to it as death porn. Using real life film footage from hospitals, morgues, autopsy rooms, war zones, slaughterhouses, public executions, accident and crime scenes, mausoleums and graves, this video graphically depicts the many faces of death, be that death by disease, accident, murder, or execution, this film shows it all.

It's not something I ever need to see again, but I do think it is worthwhile watching once. At least catch the first 20 minutes of it. The tour of the cemetery in Mexico with the mummified corpses is one of my favorite parts. Well that and the autopsy showing the removal of the human brain. It's not that I like it, but it's shockingly mind blowing and unbelievably surreal stuff.

It's uncanny to see how much the face is like a mask. When a person is dead and the skin of their face is peeled away from the skull, what's left is a lifeless mask, no different than any mask you could buy in the store. Because there is no life in it. The mask only comes alive when someone is wearing it. You see this truth illustrated most vividly during an autopsy. How a dead body is like a lifeless doll, like an inanimate object. Because it is not the flesh and bone that lives, but it is the energy of the spirit of the person that animates the flesh, and when that energy leaves, what's left is nothing but a pile of rotting meat and bone.

Yes, death is an unpleasant reality, a reality that most people do not want to face, that most people do not want to think about, but you should, because like it or not you too will die, and so will your loved ones. This is not to say that you should become obsessed with it, but just that you should never forget this painful truth, that you will not live forever, that death is stalking you every moment of your life, and will eventually catch you in the end when you least expect it.

I'd like to think that I will live a long time. Seriously. I'm all about longevity. Very health conscious. Doing everything in my power to maintain my strength my youth and my healthiness. But you know what? Even if I beat the odds and become the longest living person, and maintaining my youthfulness for as long as possible, you still can't live forever. Maybe there is such a thing as the immortality of the soul, but the body itself is doomed. While you may extend your life, you can't extend it forever, all things must eventually come to their end. That's just the way it is. It's a painful truth that I'm still trying to come to terms with. And there is no other way to come to terms with it without facing your own death directly and resolutely with your eyes wide open and wide awake and aware.

All things die. You could even say that life lives by eating life. Someone must die in order for another to live. Though I must tell you that after seeing this film vegetarianism seems even more appealing to me than it did before. I don't want to be complicit in the taking of anyone's life. Sure plants are living things too, but a vegetarian diet just seems a lot kinder to me. There is no viciousness in it.

Whereas killing an animal is extremely vicious. What you don't think so? Why don't you put yourself in its place for a moment, and see if you still would feel that way. Do onto others as you'd have them do unto you. Does that mean anything to you? How would you feel to be hunted for your flesh? How would you feel to see your loved one's murdered before your eyes to satisfy someone's hunger? Because that's what's been done to the animals you eat. Murdered. If you kill a person to eat their flesh? It's called murder. If you kill an animal to eat their flesh, it's called hunting, it's called survival, it's called sport.

But either way it's killing, the taking of a life. Obviously you must do whatever you must do to survive. People have even been known to turn to cannibalism in times of need. Desperate people often do desperate things. But if you have a choice in the matter, if vegetarianism is an option, it seems the far more superior choice. But what do I know? Some people love the thrill of the hunt, and are truly blood thirsty people. The African Masai for instance, drink the blood of their prey, it's like a sacred ritual to them...where their not just drinking blood, their feasting off of it like a vampire consuming its soul.

I had a dream of being hunted once, actually I've had more than one dream of that nature, but only one dream where not only was I being hunted, but I was actually caught and killed and eaten alive. It was terrifying. I remember it vividly, even though it occurred a couple years ago. In this dream I was hunted by a very large bird, either an owl or an eagle. It had me cornered and immobilized by its talons, and there was no escape, no talking my way out of it. I was going to die that day becoming somebody's dinner and there was not a single thing I could do to stop it.

You could say that hunting is natural, that it is natural for life to eat life, but I got to tell you that from the perspective of the hunted, nothing could seem further from the truth. Nothing felt more wrong than it did at that moment of being hunted, like it was the ultimate injustice, the ultimate betrayal, the ultimate violation. It felt like what was happening to me shouldn't happen to anyone ever, because it was nothing less than murder.

Random Insight - 4

Be not deceived by appearances.

Very often sexual attraction, that of being completely captivated by a person's appearance, is very much like being hypnotized and put under a magical spell, a spell that makes you feel like you're under the influence of a very powerful drug, a drug which may cloud your judgment causing you to make all sorts of poor choices. Where you may perhaps see someone in a more favorable light than is actually the case, simply because of the way they look, while ignoring possible red flag warnings, like character flaws and personality incompatibilities, that you would have noticed right away if you were not attracted to them.

This is true not just in romance but in all interpersonal relationships. Sometimes beautiful people get more favorable treatment, are taken more seriously and given better opportunities than ugly people. So it's a good idea to sometimes imagine a beautiful person as ugly, and an ugly person as beautiful, while really listening to what their saying, and closely observing what their doing, to get a clear and honest sense of who they really are as a person independent from their appearance, because appearances can sometimes be deceptive.

I do this quite frequently, not just in person, but also while watching television. Especially when watching something serious, like an interview, a speech, or political debate, I like to close my eyes, or cover the TV, and just listen to it without watching it, without being distracted by their appearance and mannerisms...to really focus on the substance of what people are saying. Because appearances can be deceptive, not just in person, but especially on television, with all the smoke and mirrors and magical incantations, with all the glitz and glamor and fancy suits and flashing lights, it's easy to be distracted and deceived into misinterpreting what you see, or mislead into putting greater or lesser value on the essential message of what a person is saying.

Try this sometime:

1. Visualize a beautiful person as being monstrously ugly, maybe even imagining them looking like a skeletal corpse.

2. Visualize an ugly person as being the perfect embodiment of beauty, like an angelic being right out of a heavenly sphere of perfection.

3. And momentarily try not to concentrate on a person's outward appearance at all, seeing them as neither ugly or beautiful, but letting their words and deeds speak entirely for themselves.