Random Insight - 4

Be not deceived by appearances.

Very often sexual attraction, that of being completely captivated by a person's appearance, is very much like being hypnotized and put under a magical spell, a spell that makes you feel like you're under the influence of a very powerful drug, a drug which may cloud your judgment causing you to make all sorts of poor choices. Where you may perhaps see someone in a more favorable light than is actually the case, simply because of the way they look, while ignoring possible red flag warnings, like character flaws and personality incompatibilities, that you would have noticed right away if you were not attracted to them.

This is true not just in romance but in all interpersonal relationships. Sometimes beautiful people get more favorable treatment, are taken more seriously and given better opportunities than ugly people. So it's a good idea to sometimes imagine a beautiful person as ugly, and an ugly person as beautiful, while really listening to what their saying, and closely observing what their doing, to get a clear and honest sense of who they really are as a person independent from their appearance, because appearances can sometimes be deceptive.

I do this quite frequently, not just in person, but also while watching television. Especially when watching something serious, like an interview, a speech, or political debate, I like to close my eyes, or cover the TV, and just listen to it without watching it, without being distracted by their appearance and mannerisms...to really focus on the substance of what people are saying. Because appearances can be deceptive, not just in person, but especially on television, with all the smoke and mirrors and magical incantations, with all the glitz and glamor and fancy suits and flashing lights, it's easy to be distracted and deceived into misinterpreting what you see, or mislead into putting greater or lesser value on the essential message of what a person is saying.

Try this sometime:

1. Visualize a beautiful person as being monstrously ugly, maybe even imagining them looking like a skeletal corpse.

2. Visualize an ugly person as being the perfect embodiment of beauty, like an angelic being right out of a heavenly sphere of perfection.

3. And momentarily try not to concentrate on a person's outward appearance at all, seeing them as neither ugly or beautiful, but letting their words and deeds speak entirely for themselves.