Thursday, May 24, 2018

Will the Annoyances and Grievances Ever End?

I try to live lightly, gently, not causing any problems to anyone. I'm conscientious of others, keep my space clean, don't leave a mess, don't make noise, don't disrespect other people's property or space. I just go about my life, trying to live harmoniously with the natural flow of nature, striving to do the least amount of harm as possible, wherever I go, whatever I do.

And this is the reason why I don't talk to many people, other than when I have to superficially for work, or shopping, that sort of thing, because so many people are living in the exact opposite way, with an abundance of stupidity and ignorance, people acting disrespectful and unconscientious.

The landscapers here where I live are a lost cause. They are idiots. They are incapable of learning from their mistakes. They are incapable of modifying their behavior.  Instead of learning from experience, and getting better over time, they've only gotten worse. I feel that they must be completely brain damaged and are incapable of thinking. That is the only explanation. They do more harm than good, and don't know it. Try to tell them, it won't do no good. No matter how many times I complain, nothing will ever change here. It just gets worse. I thought about posting videos, consulting professionals on the matter, getting their input, seeing if I can discover and expose any violations the company may be guilty of, but I don't feel I have the energy. If I were to succeed what good would it really do, they will probably hire another company just as bad to replace them. So, like I said it's a lost cause. The only solution is to leave, just ignore the problems while I do my time and run out my lease, and get the hell out.

I have two neighbors I suspect are drug dealers. One of them I suspect has a lab in his apartment. I ignore it for fear that my life may be in danger if I report it. He also throws his cigarette butts all over the place. The entrance of his front door is littered with cigarette butts, who lives that way? I used to smoke, and I used an ashtray. How hard is that? I cannot comprehend the mentality of that, of people throwing their butts on the ground, throwing their garbage on the ground. It is entirely alien to my way of thinking, that of treading lightly on the earth, being respectful and conscientious. I have other neighbors that are also very loud. Think they own the place, having loud parties, using crude language, smoking joints outside there apartment, right out in the parking lot and driving buzzed. Makes me sick. I couldn't care less if people want to use recreational drugs in the privacy of their own home, but I object to public usage and people getting high and then driving under the influence.

But what I am going to do, call the cops on everybody? I can't do it. I'd be calling every day, and eventually the cops would stop responding, wouldn't be available in a real emergency, and all my neighbors would hate me, and probably try to hurt me. So I do nothing but feel pissed off sometimes about where I'm living.

You know I didn't think this apartment complex was that bad, for the price range I would venture it is one of the better ones, simply because it has the most trees, it is the most park like apartment complex for the money, and that's why I chose it. It's small but efficient, and they've always been prompt with the maintenance requests, fixed or replaced everything that was broken in a timely manner.

I was looking for a place that was affordable, that I could pay the rent working part-time, and still be able to save. But that's just it, no matter where you live, at a certain price range of rent, which differs from city to city, state to state, basically any place with rents affordable to a person making minimum wage, you're going to have a criminal element. It's inevitable. And where you have a criminal element, you're also going to have more people who are generally disrespectful and unconscientious of others, and more noise, more garbage, more illegal activity, more disagreements and fights, and more disharmony and discord.

That is the way of the ghetto. But are the people bad because their poor, or poor because their bad? Probably a combination of both. Some people though are rotten to the core, and will always be poor. And if you gave them a lot money, they'd still be rotten to the core, and spiritually poor. I firmly believe this to be true.

I never realized before today just how despicable and vile a person could be. I mean, yeah, I knew evil people existed, I just never met one in person before. You know, you're nice, and their not nice to you. You say: "Please don't do this." They say: "Fuck you!" There completely in the wrong, and their turning the tables on you, saying no you're in the wrong. Impossible to reason with.

I just made enemies with a mentally unstable psychopath. For real. I have two outdoor cats I'm feeding. There not my cats, but I'm helping to take care of them, giving them food and water and so they feel safe hanging around outside my apartment. This psycho bitch has two little dogs that whenever she passes by she sicks her dogs on the cats and chases them into the parking lot where the cats usually find shelter under a car. This woman does it every time. I confronted her once before, asked her why she was doing that, and if she would please stop. She told me to fuck off, said I was crazy.

I confronted her again today. She appeared very mentally unstable, either mental illness, or a drug addict, maybe both, but I swear she almost hit me. She came up on me like on the Jerry Springer Show ready to attack. I just asked her to stop harassing the cats. And she came up in my face, looking all deranged, she almost looked like she was going to hit me. And acted like I was the crazy one. She was like if you don't want anyone to mess with your cats, don't let them outside.

I know now I made this worse. I should have just ignored it. Now I'm worried she may cause a problem in the future, either hurt me, my property, or maybe even hurt the cats.

Will the annoyances and grievances ever end? Apparently not. There's always something. Will there always be difficult people, toxic people, violent criminals, drug addicts, and crazies? Will there always be evil people?I guess speculating on the matter is fruitless, the true problem occurs when you are confronted with one face to face. It's like all of the sudden, for that brief moment in time, you are transported to another world, where law and order does not exist, where there is no sense of goodness or ethical standards of justice, a land where evil prevails and brute force is king.

It's a land where evil is predator and good is prey. That's what happens when you come face to face with an evil person who hates you, there is no logical argument or ethical justification to change their mind about you. They are going to do whatever they wish do, think whatever they wish to think, there is nothing you can say to stop them. If you fight, it's fight to the death. If they survive they will come after you. But if you kill them, you become them. So you lose either way.

That's how it is in the ghetto, the human jungle, a place where might is right, and where human animals live completely without reason and morality. It's not a fun place to live, it's an ugly place to live, but it's reality. I'm just saving my money, biding my time, and yes this too will pass.

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