My grief is beyond words. I may never fully recover from this tragedy.
How alone I feel even among people I know. How disappointed I feel with my family, how I expected them to be there for me, after suffering the shock of personally caring for and seeing a person I care for immensely deteriorate before my eyes, personally witnessing the process of dying when I thought there was hope for recovery, and now I find myself completely alone and in despair and hating the people I'm related to.
I'm just completely crushed. I could die. I cry and cry. Tears pour out of my eyes at all times of the day, thinking about it, what I could have done differently, what I could have done to save her. I'll never be the same. This is truly the beginning of the end.