Things have not been good. I've had a series of major stresses in my life. A person I live with has had a medical emergency, and is presently rehabilitating. And although I hope they fully recover and live for many years to come the end could come at anytime.
This is a reality I face everyday now. And although I am working, if I had to move out today I would be homeless. This too is a reality I face everyday.
So I've been drinking more and have experienced health problems as a result of it. Shortness of breath. Rapid heartbeat. Just a general state of not feeling quite right. This is something I've been experiencing for a few months now, but in the last week it's gotten to the point that it feels like it's become a serious problem.
Well today I tested my blood pressure for the first time in a couple of years, and it turns out I have high blood pressure, well, technically pre-hypertension. My reading was 118/90 with a pulse of 93. I do eat a healthy diet and exercise a huge amount, am an avid cyclist, but I drink more than two drinks of alcohol everyday, sometimes more than three, and I've been under a huge amount of stress, not just with the living arrangement, the stress of someone close to me almost dying, the stress that I may be homeless in the near future, and the stress of maybe having to move again, to look for a better job that I could fully support myself on before the worst happens, while at the same time acting as somewhat of a caregiver, and trying to make some progress with my newly found source of online income, with my eventual goal of making a full-time income working online as a freelancer, that I may have to completely abandon or put on hold if the worst happens, which will eventually happen, it's just a matter of time.
I have to learn to relax because despite all this I've been very stressed and anxious about a lot of things. I've been stressed out by some of my neighbors, people not picking up their dog poop, people parking in other peoples reserved spots, the knucklehead landscapers, ruining the landscaping, over blowing, over trimming, over spraying, and just generally ruining the landscape. All this has gotten to me. All the morons and assholes and unenlightened people have gotten to me. I need a break. I need to relax. I also have to cut down my alcohol consumption. I know its got to go down to no more than one drink a day, but I'm starting tonight at just two, something I can do, because frankly I've only got two beers left. But yeah, I have to do it, because I've got to get my blood pressure down, and I know that if I don't, I'm going to die.
So, that's the update for this month. Maybe I'll start posting again more frequently once I've gotten better.