I started a new notebook today. I've been writing in a journal consistently for over twenty years, but I also have this odd habit of destroying them once I've filled them up. So I have no record of the last twenty years of my paper journals. I guess it's because I don't want anyone reading them, or maybe because I am not satisfied with what I wrote, or feel that the value was in the act of writing them, and not so much in the reading of them. Either way, I feel no loss.
I mention this only because it's been four months now since I last wrote in my personal journal. Meaning that I filled up my last notebook in October, and hadn't started a new one until now. I guess it has been a period of darkness these last few months. All that I've written has been here, and if you are an attentive reader, maybe you've noticed that the content has been nothing special. Maybe it's always been, I mean, after all this blog is just what you would call a personal blog, not striving to be professional here, but even so I guess things have deteriorated somewhat, it's that point where most people would probably have packed it up and called it a day, retiring from this blogging experiment once and for all.
That's because my heart hasn't been into it. Can you tell? Yeah. I try. I try to keep going even though my hearts not completely into it. Something keeps calling me back. I've been forcing myself. But the problem isn't this blog, it isn't with blogging, it's been with writing in general. I just haven't been feeling it. I've been having a creative dry spell, which has been going on longer than it has ever before.
But I started a new paper diary today, didn't write anything personal in it, but used it to write down some notes, some quotes and a list of some books to read.
What I've got so far is a list of books to investigate about understanding money. Not necessarily to read, but to research whether in fact they are worth reading:
Grunch of Giants by R. Buckminster Fuller
The Creature from Jekyll Island by G. Edward Griffin
The Dollar Crisis by Richard Duncan
The Battle for the Soul of Capitalism by John Boyle
Empire of Debt by Bill Bonner
I've been reading some business books by Robert Kiyosaki. Not really feeling it though. I read 200 pages of one of his books in full, and skimmed four of his other books, and noticed that he repeats himself a lot. Each book, is a slightly modified version of the other. Meaning, that he recycles a lot of the same material, but just changes the packaging. I think his books are a money making machine. Problem is, their making money for him, but probably not most of the people reading them.
I need to learn more about money. About taxes. About the real world differences between socialism and capitalism. My understanding of it all is somewhat fuzzy.
One thing I know is that focusing my attention on making money as the primary goal of what I do, feels empty and unsatisfying. As much as I need money and wouldn't mind coming into a few million, the idea of being a capitalist, someone whose full-time occupation is committed to getting rich, doesn't really interest me. I'm not a materialistic person, I'm focused on more spiritual things. And yet I need money. We all need money. The society we live in requires it. And more money in a certain sense equals more freedom. So, there is a bit of a conflict here. Between needing money, wanting freedom, and not being interested in money. Yeah, it's illogical. A paradox. Money, love it or hate it, can't live without it. In this case, I think education is the best bet. I need to become better educated about money. And that is what I will do.
Quotes from the notebook:
"Everyone is born a genius, but the process of life de-geniuses them."
-R. Buckminster Fuller
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
"Those who do not know history's mistakes are doomed to repeat them."
-Sir Edmond Burke
"Give me control over a nation's currency, and I care not who makes its laws."
-Mayer Amschel Rothschild