Friday, December 26, 2014

Split Second Changes

Got woken up by the police early this morning, banging on my door. They were large men, very tall, huge chests, white. Looked like storm troopers. Very intimidating. I felt like a tiny toothpick. Like a flimsy twig that could easily break. Thought they were going to break the door down. Neither I nor the people I live with have committed any crime, so the first thought that came to mind is that maybe one of us was a victim of a crime;  like maybe hacking, or identity theft or something.

It turns out they were here to give a notification of a death in my family. I can't say who, but it was a relative in the UK. Good thing I've got a lawyer in the family, who travels extensively around the world, and will be handling everything. Sort out whether the inheritance goes to charity, or if maybe some of us will see a piece of the pie. It's a huge job. A lot of property. A huge amount of personal effects. At this point don't know much of anything, not even the cause of death, whether it was natural or not. And with the holidays, it may be awhile before we know much more.

Still in a state of shock. Thought this person would live to be 100. It just goes to show you just how rapidly things can change in a split second. Just when you're feeling comfortable, at peace, like all is well, on top of the world, you are plunged in a state of chaos, like bombs dropping out of thin air. 

I'll be alright, not really grieving about it, but I am effected. It's a shock, but more so it makes me think of my own mortality. The fact that, because of my loner tendencies, if I live into my 80s and beyond, I very well may find myself all alone, no children, no spouse, no family, maybe even no friends; which isn't a problem, until you have a problem, and you get really sick, or you die. I value my solitude, but there is still the question of who deals with my stuff when there is no next-of-kin. Of course, I will achieve immortality, so it won't be an issue, but if by chance I don't, it's something to think about. 


del said...

I'm sorry to hear about the death in your family. Hopefully things will be sorted out soon. Grief is kind of insidious - it sneaks up on you when you least expect it.

I'm kind of a loner too and sometimes I wonder about what happens when I get old. Could be a bad situation if the dice come up wrong. But I've also seen people who ruined their lives with bad marriages, soul-sucking partners because they couldn't stand being alone, estranged kids, divorces late in life, etc and ended up in just as sorry of a state so I don't feel so bad. It's all a gamble, I guess.

Cym said...

Yeah, I'm sure it will catch up with me. Even though I didn't know the person well, there is a feeling of loss. Though probably more shocking than the actual news was the way it was presented. It made a lasting impression. It also doesn't help that we still have no idea what's going on, the police gave the wrong contact information. Have to come back. Am totally at their mercy. Still don't know the cause of death, or what's happening on the property, whether their is adequate security, or animals needing care. The property was rural, on a farm. There are no immediate relatives there. Some distant, but too distant to be of help. We're in another country, and I guess you could say there is a great deal of family estrangement. Yeah, it's a gamble. Thanks for the comment.